I mean, we're still young, developing kids with no life experiences to define who we are, anyway not enough to make us wise for that matter. But there are those little sparks of desire and passion that surge through our veins that if we sprinkled little drops of water everyday, it would grow into something beautiful. That humble core within us can only be nurtured...gradually.
What does your heart say?
To be fairly honest I hate that question. Seriously, are we in a movie?
Does life really slow down whilst the person you were walking with fades into something insignificant, your vision becomes black and white... you look up (in your mind), and in the far distance above the clouds this thought process is brewing something unimaginable. Then, like lightning it hits you.
Like a light bulb going off in your head. All the answers you've longed to know, the reasons for reasons, the unexplained, they all become clear.
'Ahhh...thats why...' You think.
Now you know the reason to live?!?!?!?!
Err...Wtf.
This is not how life really works is it?
For us its more like this.
Friend: Why don't you pursue what you love to do?
Me: Its not that simple -_-
Friend: Yeah it actually is...
Me: Really -_- Where do I begin then?
Friend: Err, well....Just, *cough*. Ask GOOGLE! XD
Me: [slaps friend]
Is it me, or does anyone ever have these moments? Whats in my heart? I ask myself.
Unless you've figured out your strength in life for you to pave the road to accomplishment its actually hard for others...like me. It is..I mean was hard for me to figure out who I am and what I want to be or how I want to spend my life. My ambitions were non existent merely a fragmented dream that just lingered in the back of my dreary mind. I would live for the moment and not the future, like an animal.
You know, like a panda. I was a panda in habit.
I'd just sit there in my room the whole day. In symmetry to me a panda sits the whole day besides the occasional stroll it would have in the forest, to look for food.
Similarly, I would occasionally leave my room to wonder off and find myself opening the kitchen fridge to feed off a snack.
It was..I was pathetic.
I didn't know who I was apart from a general profile : Brown eyes, brown skin, medium/tall, [weight], interests: reading a book etc, dislikes: cucumber etc...
Even so I couldn't draw the line between what I liked to what I liked because my idol liked it? I would end up believing I liked something because of someone else. My mind would end up re-wiring itself into someone else. The real me would try to scream through the wall I hid it behind? And suddenly I would ask myself ' who am I?'
It takes strong will power to break that wall we have during our adolescent years. Puberty.
Hahaha, I'm only eighteen but I now know why we have clear, distinct boundaries between childhood, teen hood and adulthood.
In my sociology classes we are taught that sociologist believe that childhood is a social construction.
Err. Not really, its more than that. Going from childhood to adulthood is a physical, mental and biological transformation.
Anyway, my point it.
[reader: finally -_-]
Seriously though. For all teenagers out there reading this I need you to understand life only comes once.
You were born the way you are because you have a role to play on this stage we call 'life'. You are the main character of you life. Not your friend, not your boyfriend! They are just people that come and go on and off of the stage.
Don't waste your time expecting a miracle, love, opportunities.
These things are only going to be further away from you if you are waiting or expecting it. You just keep living until you spontaneously get a miracle, love or opportunities in life. Don't put your life on a stand still and expect the best response!
If you were on the stage, just staring at the audience, standing there, still, motionless. Do you think you'll get a standing ovation?
NO!!
If you have a dream, WAKE UP and make it happen. Don't forget its currently a dream not reality. But if you want it to work then WAKE UP!
For those who are indecisive, 'confused' or reluctant.
Remember this:
"People will not listen to what you say. But they will listen to what you do"
If your parents are extremely against what you believe in? Won't listen to you? Will 'take non of it'?
Then SHOW THEM!!
I've decided to do what I want in life. Because in the end, its mine right?!
Don't get me wrong. Our parents have like a sixth sense so try to understand where they are coming from. Negotiate.
E.g Just because I want to do acting as a career. It also doesn't mean I'll give up school to head out to auditions.
I need to go university for a platform to fall on if things don't turn out the way I planned it. It's important to be successful and have an educational background as it will also define your perception of life.
Pave your own path...
- Helen x
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